I know rom-coms aren't realistic.
You know rom-coms aren't realistic.
The people who make rom-coms definitely know they're not realistic.
And yet, here we are—watching and reading the same impossible, illogical, economically baffling love stories over and over again like they're documentaries.
Because here's the thing: the unrealistic parts aren't bugs. They're features.
So yes, I'm fully aware these things would never happen in real life. But I love them anyway, and I will not be taking questions at this time.
The Apartment Situation
Every rom-com heroine lives in a spacious, light-filled apartment—despite working as a freelance blogger, aspiring artist, or "event planner" (which apparently pays six figures).
There are exposed brick walls. Huge windows. A kitchen island.
Meanwhile, in real life, people are paying $2,400/month to share a bedroom with a roommate they found on Craigslist.
Why I love it anyway: Because if I have to watch someone fall in love, I'd prefer they do it in a place with crown molding and natural light. Their emotional journey is hard enough—let them have the kitchen island.
The Meet-Cute Logistics
In rom-coms, people meet by:
- Colliding on the sidewalk and dropping all their papers (who carries loose papers anymore?)
- Getting stuck in an elevator for exactly the right amount of time
- Accidentally grabbing the same taxi/coffee/Christmas tree
- Showing up at the wrong wedding and somehow not getting escorted out
In real life, people meet on apps while lying in bed eating crackers.
Why I love it anyway: Because "we matched on Hinge and texted for three weeks before meeting at a moderately okay chain restaurant" doesn't have the same ring to it. I want chaos. I want fate. I want someone to spill coffee on someone else and somehow that leads to true love.
Everyone Has Time
Rom-com characters are always available.
They can:
- Take spontaneous trips with 24 hours' notice
- Meet for coffee at 2 PM on a Tuesday
- Spend an entire afternoon wandering through a museum/bookstore/farmers market with no regard for their work schedule
Nobody ever says, "I'd love to, but I have a dentist appointment and three Zoom calls."
Why I love it anyway: Because the rom-com universe operates on vibes, not PTO policies. If the meet-cute requires someone to drop everything and chase someone through an airport, their boss will simply... not exist for that scene. And honestly? I respect that.
The Grand Gesture
Ah yes, the grand gesture.
The public declaration. The speech in front of everyone. The showing up unannounced at someone's workplace/home/wedding to confess feelings.
In real life, this is called "a boundary violation."
In rom-coms, it's called "proof of love."
Why I love it anyway: Look, I know it's unhinged. I know nobody should interrupt a wedding or hold a boombox outside someone's window at midnight.
But there's something beautifully, recklessly vulnerable about it. It's the opposite of our carefully curated, low-risk, "let's keep it casual" dating culture. It's big and messy and emotionally honest in a way that feels... kind of brave?
Also, it makes for excellent storytelling.
The Job that Doesn't Require Working
Rom-com jobs are aspirational and vague.
She's a "writer" who never seems stressed about deadlines. He "works in finance" but has time to take her to lunch every day. Someone's a baker who owns a charming small-town shop that's always one month from closing (but never actually closes).
Nobody's answering emails at 11 PM or attending performance reviews.
Why I love it anyway: Because I didn't sign up to watch someone's realistic work-life stress. I've got plenty of my own to ruminate on. I signed up to watch two people fall in love while beautifully underemployed. If she can write a bestselling novel in three weeks while also going on dates every night, good for her. She's living the dream.
The Rain
Why is it always raining during the emotional climax?
And why do people always run through it like they don't own umbrellas?
And why does nobody ever get actually cold or worry about their phone getting wet?
Why I love it anyway: Because rain is romantic, and I will not be argued with on this. It's cinematic. It's dramatic. It makes the kiss feel more urgent.
Also, it's a metaphor. (For what? I don't know. But it feels important.)
The Timeline
Rom-com relationships move at warp speed.
People go from strangers to soulmates in:
- Two weeks during a vacation
- One magical Christmas season
- A single summer
Meanwhile, real couples are still trying to figure out if they're "exclusive" after six months.
Why I love it anyway: Because I don't want to watch a realistic six-month slow burn where they're mostly just texting and trying to coordinate schedules. I want the emotional speed-run. I want "we've known each other for 10 days but I'd die for you" energy.
It's not realistic. But it's efficient.
So yes, I know rom-coms are unrealistic.
But they're also:
- Hopeful
- Warm
- Proof that people still believe in connection, even when it's illogical
- A reminder that sometimes the best stories don't make sense—they just make you feel something
And honestly? In a world that's exhausting and cynical and way too obsessed with being "realistic," I think we're allowed to love the unrealistic stuff.
Especially if it involves good lighting, a perfect playlist, and two people who probably shouldn't work on paper but somehow do.
What's the most unrealistic rom-com thing you secretly love? Reply and tell me—I want to know what tropes you'll defend to the death.
xoxo, Abs
Currently spiraling about:
- 🏠 whether I could actually afford my dream rom-com apartment (I cannot)
- ☕ the last time I had a meet-cute (2019? maybe?)
- ✈️ how many life problems can technically be solved by getting on a plane (testing this theory)
P.S. Speaking of unrealistic romantic situations that I fully support—my Passport to Mistletoe series is about women who solve their problems by booking flights to Europe and accidentally falling in love. Book 1 is out now (Ireland + a man who fixes things but not feelings), and Book 2 drops mid-November (Amsterdam + the photographer who got away). Because if we're doing unrealistic, we might as well do it with good pastries.
